Dream of dawn

Remember! That chilly winter night

I kept gazing at you,

Your countenance; serene yet bright.

Your eyes made a promise under the starry sky,

With the west wind blowing, to hold my hands forever.

A promise that touched my heart! 

A promise that made me cry!

I loved to be lost at your quirk,

To smile at the slope of your cheek

To dip at your thoughts umpteen

I loved you, no one else, my queen.

I loved you! And I love you

I hope you did too. Didn't you?

Our story bloomed like a flower,

Spread its fragrance, 

And withered silently in a whisper.

Though you are, no longer with me

I find you still, held in my arms, in my dream.

Dream!

Dream of dawn- fresh and vivid

Leaves me with a sweet unrest, and

A stark realization- it's just a dream

But I do hope!

I do hope my dream come true.

The dream I long

The dream of dawn!

I Surrender

""Some solitary moments in life hunt your mind with some incoherent thoughts which you can not avoid but only surrender to those. And you are left with an unbearable inner chaos.""

What am I doing?

I weep, tears don't come

I shout aloud, sound fades away

till it reaches my ear.

I surrender,

Letting my soul swim

in an ocean of absolute emptiness!

What am I thinking?

Tiring my mind

with thoughts and images, I despised most?

The moments die slowly,

Left me devoid of any inner silence.

I surrender,

Indulging myself in a sphere of

unbearable seclusion!

Why?

I burn my face in scorching heat

I shiver in cold throughout the night

I drench my body in incessant rain

I lie uncovered under the naked sky,

my friends are agony and intense pain.

You don't see my subdued eyes,

extreme anguish hidden in my cries,

my malnourished body, 

the hunger in my belly,
the melancholy.

Why?

You don't see! Or you don't care?

I see you through the tinted glass

Your flamboyance, your grandeur !

My eyes gaze at the devouring spree

Your one cup of coffee

can fill my empty tummy.

Why?

Is it my fault I was born roofless?

Is it my fault my parents left me?

You turn your eyes from my ragged attire

You walk away from my dingy living space

Why?

Ever try to dive into my eyes-

into an ocean of perpetual longing!

Far far away from your world, safe and glittering.

(Written after I spent few hours with few Mumbai street children.)

Insomnia

Slow night, so long,

Sleep ceases to befriend

Eyes closed, I'm asleep,

I do pretend.

 

Ticking of the clock,

Hissing of my breath,

assault my ears

without any break.

 

Taunting of the pillows,

Haunting of the thoughts,

leave me restless,

my soul battered.

 

Up above the ceiling, I stare

Left with nothing but utter despair

Can't I have a nightlong sweet slumber?

Longing for a dream surreal,

All I pray, a night without any ordeal.

The Whisper

 

 

A faint whisper,

feeble, yet sensible;

lingered gently on my ear

from the back of my shoulder.

 

Whisper,

that reminded me of my deeds of yesteryear,

truths unpleasant to hear,

sins I committed in the past,

stories unspoken to anyone.

 

Was it real, or a hallucination?

Or may be a dark premonition!

"who is this", I whimpered

No one answered, the whisper unperturbed.

I hated it to hear; hated it from my heart.

 

A peek at the back, all I wanted

I opened my eyes and saw a shadow on the wall i faced

The shadow was lurking me, made me sick

I stood up and moved my neck.

The curtain was still, in my room I was alone

A shadow was still there, this time that was Mine!

I'm fired!

 

A year back,

I entered the premises,

I was happy, I had dream in my eyes;

I got a place, also I got one boss

I started working so hard,

that my life went for a toss. 

Life was a bliss till next appraisal,

till the lay-off began, till that gloomy morning,

till I found the "Holy Pink Slip" on my table.

Impeccably enveloped!

Name neatly scribbled!

The letter of dismissal! 

A feeling of abandonment;

a many questions unanswered;

a future undestined and blurred;

on the brink of helplessness, I stood

unappreciated, unacclaimed, unrecognized!

Since my first day of work, I've been loyal

In return, what I got back is nothing but betrayal!

I had a life, I had recognition, I had dreams a million

Now, nothing but angst and agony are my new companion!

No one hires me now, I'm tired

I got a bad name...coz I'm fired!

Hedonism

Wine, sparkling in a shiny blue glass;

a puff of thick curly smoke,

from the burning cigar,

Tranquil eyes, lingering on the smoke line

Half laid, half asleep

On my high back chair.