Sunday, June 23, 2013

Socialization: a bane or a boon! Excerpt from a typical weekend

"Ring Ring....Ring Ring...," my cellphone beeped.
"Who the hell is calling me at 6.30 am in a saturday morning?"
After groping almost half of the area of my bed with eyes closed I managed to find my cell phone. "Hello", I murmured.
"Hey, how are you dude?" An ecstatic male voice replied from the other side.
But that ecstatic voice couldn't bring an iota of ecstasy in me. " I aaam f..i..n..e, who is this?" I struggled to reply.
"Well, guess who am I?" He replied.
How the hell people get the idea to give a surprise by calling at 6.30 am in a saturday morning? What kind of pleasure it can offer to someone? I seriously don't know.
"Sorry, your no is not stored in my cell and I can't recognize your voice. Please tell me who are you?" I responded, this time bit firmly.

"Well, let me give you some clue," the answer came from other side followed by a chuckle .
Now he wants me to play a trial and error! That's great! The saturday morning blue! I lost patience.
And I almost shouted. "Abbe tell me who are you. I'm not going to guess anything."
Probably that shout worked as I didn't have to go through that trial and error guessing game. I got the prompt response.
"Don't be angry dude. This is Jay. Last we met in bangalore almost an year back. Now I'm in your town. Lets catch up today over lunch and beer. What u saÿ?"
Holy shit! I just returned last midnight from a week long hectic official tour. Needless to say no evening was spent without beer and very little sleep throughout the week. I was just tired. When I hit the bed last night, I had a plan to sleep 14 hours at a stretch, take lunch and hit the bed again.
For a moment I thought to give reply a naked "No". But the very next moment I decided to handle the issue bit politely, by virtue of being a social creature.

"Can't you make it tomorrow? Actually I'm very tired today."-was my polite submission to him ( I could have given an excuse of not being well very easily though!).
Jay almost shouted. "C'mmon, I'm in your town. This is saturday and you are making excuses! You are changed dude. Dost ko bhul gaya?"
What could I say more? Surrendering to the very expected banality of my friend cum ex-classmate, I agreed to have a luncheon with beer on the very same day. " Ok. Ok. No problem. Where are you staying? Where should we meet? Is MG Road fine for you? Then come to The Zodiac. Ok?"
"No Problem dear. I'll be there at 1pm in the afternoon", Jay replied.
" Ok. See you there", I sighed and hung on.
I hit the bed once again.
1 pm in the afternoon. We met and our beer session (with little food) started. From beer, it went on to more beer and to more and more beer till we got tired and stomach didn't permit to consume more. Needless to say, in this 4 hours session, our discussion was very much diversified. It revolved seamlessly from classroom to late night boozing to roof-top parties to ogling at skimpily dressed girls to kharush boss in office and beautiful receptioninst and so on.
Was I happy with this afternoon? The answer would be "definitely not". Though what hapened was refreshing for mind but it was equally tiring for body. "No problem, tommorrow is sunday and I would take rest for the whole day", I consoled myself.
Behaving like a host, I paid the bill, bade good-bye to my friend and took the cab to home. My bed was calling me.
Infact, after I reached home and embraced my bed, with it was drizzling outside and Jagjit Singh playing on, I didn't feel that bad. Probably the thought of next day a holiday felt me poised !
I fall asleep happily !
Next day, I woke up at 11 am with eyes still without a wish to see light. I had some bread and jam and lazily sat in my arm-chair with the newspaper. Though I was trying hard to concentrate on the newspaper, my mind was busy thinking whether I should prepare lunch or ask for a home delivery.
Well, I decided to prepare rice, dal and omelette. I was scared of outside spicey food.
By then, it stopped drizzling outside but the weather was just awesome. I concentrated on the news paper. 

My cellphone beeped again. This time it's Vicky, a friend from my town only. I picked up the phone and said "hello".

" Hey, what's up? Haven't seen you online since last few days. Are you in town?" He inquired.

" Actually I was traveling and reached here friday night only ", I clarified.

And I heard his cheerful and lyrical expression. " Badiya hai. Mausam mastana hai, Dil beyman hai, Kya khayal hai! Shaam rangeen karde?" 

Fuck Fuck Fuck ! It meant again beer and more beer. " No No. I'm too tired. I need to take rest at home", I almost shouted.

" C'mmn. Last time also you gave excuse of office work. This time we are surely meeting with Sharma also joining us. Believe me, one pitcher of beer will take all your tiredness away. Will  see you at 4pm at Zyng pub", all Vicky said without any gap.

I surrendered again. Fuck! I should have anticipated the motive of the call. Or I should have replied firmly with a "No". Why the hell I couldn't say a No. My plan of starting the new classic got postponed for another few days. Oh God, I'm screwed up again. 

I'm not going to the detail of this afternoon rendezvous. It was almost same as the previous day one. I was left more exhausted physically and was thinking of taking a day leave on Monday.

Take away:

There are some disadvantages of too much socialization also. It snatches your own time.

If you can't say "No" upfront sometimes to your friends and family, you are screwed up.

If you can't say "No", give some false excuse and that should sound real enough.

P.S: This is the fact of almost every weekend of me.

        I'm not against beer !

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Cacophony

 
 
 
As I take a stroll
through the downtown,
I hear the clamour,
the uproar, the disorder,
that trumpet in ear;
incessant and blaring.

Screeching of tires
from the worn-out lanes,
honking of horns
from the log-jammed cars,
colliding gears,
engine that roars,
some obscure words
from nameless hawkers,
cries of urchins,
veil in the grey aura
of a cacophonous orchestra!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Wall


The wall devilishly grey,
I made it myself; so strong, so high
Neither could I break nor could I fly
Not a wall of brick or stone
Made of intangibles
Fear, despair, angst
Left me cloaked
in a darkness infinite 
 
I perish here of
desolation,not
stronger enough to
shatter the wall, and let
the light shower my soul.
 
The soul craves for
the hallowed ray, for
someone to crush the
wall into dust, 
set me free,
show me the light.

Friday, April 19, 2013

A Moment......

When the twinkling star teased at our silence
When the firefly silently approved our presence
When we got drenched in a flood of moonlight
When the cliff on the horizon shined bright
When your hair began to dance with cool breeze
When you spoke only with your eyes
When the time stopped moving
When there was no tomorrow, only the moment was prevailing

Be it a moment, so what?
Cherished it, from core of the heart!
A tryst pampered by kind nature
A wink, a smile, a touch, a whisper,
And a moment to remember
A moment.....
That leaves an everlasting impression
A moment......
That doesn't come along very often.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Waterfall

 


Visited recently the Dhuandhar Waterfall in Jabalpur, MP on River Narmada. The natural beauty of the waterfall was awesome. Narmada flows in this terrain,through the marble rocks, like a bubbly teen! Also boating through the downstream of the waterfall left me with an amazing serenity. Famous fusion band Indian Ocean had composed a song Ma Rewa way back, which describes Narmada flawlessly.
Twenty years back I visited the same place with my parents. Still I could relate my faint memory with the sight.
 

 
 
(This photo was captured by me! )
 



Raging down the rugged cliff
With the astounding vivacity
Of a bubbly teen.
 
Playing with the gushing wind,
Spurting droplets upwards,
Filling the air with dreamy mist,
Forms a smoke cascade.
 
Sizzling smoky water,
Like a playful bride,
flirts with the pristine white marble rocks.

 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Savior

In everyone's life there are one or more people who come as savior. They understood you, helped you, guided you, saved you from predicament and then gradually disappeared. Sometimes they do it of their own will; but most of the time we only forget them and push them into oblivion. They save you in many ways you can be saved. They extend their hands selflessly when you need them most and never ask anything in return.









Standing on the cross-road
Swept away in an opaque crowd
Or whirling aimlessly
In a neverending carousel.
Lost in a thousand ways,
Was looking for a way out

Failed attempts to fight a battle unarmed
Remained my voices unheard
Whilst lost in the darkness of daylight,
You showed a sunrise; new and bright.
Whilst running almost astray,
You showed the hope imminent in another day.

Holding your hand I stepped into the ladder
You smiled, watched me going up, my savior.
With a dream of million stars shining,
In search of rainbow, I kept on walking.
Glimpsing back in time, didn't I bother
You smiled, watched me going up, my savior.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Dream of dawn




Remember! That chilly winter night
I kept gazing at you,
Your countenance; serene yet bright.
Your eyes made a promise under the starry sky,
With the west wind blowing, to hold my hands forever.
A promise that touched my heart! 
A promise that made me cry!

I loved to be lost at your quirk,
To smile at the slope of your cheek
To dip at your thoughts umpteen
I loved you, no one else, my queen.
I loved you! And I love you
I hope you did too. Didn't you?
Our story bloomed like a flower,
Spread its fragrance, 
And withered silently in a whisper.

Though you are, no longer with me
I find you still, held in my arms, in my dream.
Dream!
Dream of dawn- fresh and vivid
Leaves me with a sweet unrest, and
A stark realization- it's just a dream
But I do hope!
I do hope my dream come true.
The dream I long
The dream of dawn!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

I Surrender


""Some solitary moments in life hunt your mind with some incoherent thoughts which you can not avoid but only surrender to those. And you are left with an unbearable inner chaos.""


What am I doing?
I weep, tears don't come
I shout aloud, sound fades away
till it reaches my ear.
I surrender,
Letting my soul swim
in an ocean of absolute emptiness!

What am I thinking?
Tiring my mind
with thoughts and images, I despised most?
The moments die slowly,
Left me devoid of any inner silence.
I surrender,
Indulging myself in a sphere of
unbearable seclusion!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Why?



I burn my face in scorching heat
I shiver in cold throughout the night
I drench my body in incessant rain
I lie uncovered under the naked sky,
my friends are agony and intense pain.

You don't see my subdued eyes,
extreme anguish hidden in my cries,
my malnourished body, 
the hunger in my belly,
the melancholy.

Why?
You don't see! Or you don't care?
I see you through the tinted glass
Your flamboyance, your grandeur !
My eyes gaze at the devouring spree
Your one cup of coffee
can fill my empty tummy.

Why?
Is it my fault I was born roofless?
Is it my fault my parents left me?
You turn your eyes from my ragged attire
You walk away from my dingy living space
Why?
Ever try to dive into my eyes-
into an ocean of perpetual longing!
Far far away from your world, safe and glittering.


(Written after I spent few hours with few Mumbai street children.)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Insomnia



Slow night, so long,
Sleep ceases to befriend
Eyes closed, I'm asleep,
I do pretend.
 
Ticking of the clock,
Hissing of my breath,
assault my ears
without any break.
 
Taunting of the pillows,
Haunting of the thoughts,
leave me restless,
my soul battered.
 
Up above the ceiling, I stare
Left with nothing but utter despair
Can't I have a nightlong sweet slumber?
Longing for a dream surreal,
All I pray, a night without any ordeal.

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Whisper


 
 
A faint whisper,
feeble, yet sensible;
lingered gently on my ear
from the back of my shoulder.
 
Whisper,
that reminded me of my deeds of yesteryear,
truths unpleasant to hear,
sins I committed in the past,
stories unspoken to anyone.
 
Was it real, or a hallucination?
Or may be a dark premonition!
"who is this", I whimpered
No one answered, the whisper unperturbed.
I hated it to hear; hated it from my heart.
 
A peek at the back, all I wanted
I opened my eyes and saw a shadow on the wall i faced
The shadow was lurking me, made me sick
I stood up and moved my neck.
The curtain was still, in my room I was alone
A shadow was still there, this time that was Mine!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I'm fired!














 

A year back,
I entered the premises,
I was happy, I had dream in my eyes;
I got a place, also I got one boss
I started working so hard,
that my life went for a toss. 

Life was a bliss till next appraisal,
till the lay-off began, till that gloomy morning,
till I found the "Holy Pink Slip" on my table.
Impeccably enveloped!
Name neatly scribbled!
The letter of dismissal! 

A feeling of abandonment;
a many questions unanswered;
a future undestined and blurred;
on the brink of helplessness, I stood
unappreciated, unacclaimed, unrecognized!

Since my first day of work, I've been loyal
In return, what I got back is nothing but betrayal!
I had a life, I had recognition, I had dreams a million
Now, nothing but angst and agony are my new companion!
No one hires me now, I'm tired
I got a bad name...coz I'm fired!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Hedonism


Wine, sparkling in a shiny blue glass;
a puff of thick curly smoke,
from the burning cigar,
Tranquil eyes, lingering on the smoke line
Half laid, half asleep
On my high back chair.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Those small little things !

Those small small little little things,
you brought me,
with love and affection,
Made my so many days.

Those little Hi and Hellos,
you uttered at odd times;
your voice full of life,
Made me wait till late at night.

Those all countless evenings,
you sat beside me at the riverbank
your whispers, your warm breath,
Made me hold your heart in mine.

Those all birthday celebrations
you were the first one to wish
your rhyme, your sing-song
Made me re-born again and again

Now though you are,
No longer there with me,
I'm lost somewhere,
Life was not so cool with me.
I sit by my window, I remember you,
I listen you, I see you, I feel you.
Echoes of your voice,
your scribbling on the wall,
your painted postcards,
your whispers,
countless converasations preciously archived,
. . . .. . . . . . .
Make me sail through my memories!